This week in clinicals has been quite a test. We moved from Orthopedics to a floor that handles head and neck traumas - it's the same until Dad spent three weeks on back in 1997. Most of the patients are stroke victims, but my patient was severely head injured in June. He's my age and was set to start nursing school in the fall. He's got a trach, and tubes coming from every part of his body. He is paralyzed on one side of his body. They had to remove part of his skull. Any of that would be hard for anyone to watch and care for, but especially for me - given the similarities to the situation I found myself in on that very floor almost 6 years ago. I came home last night, called my brother and pretty much lost it. Today we learned that my patient was being transferred to rehab after a month and a half in the hospital. After talking to my instructor for permission, I decided to talk to his family - to tell them some of the things that I learned the hard way. I watched this young man struggle to communicate and to perform simple tasks and all I wanted to do was to make them see how well he's doing through my experienced eyes. I told him how well he had done during one particular therapy session and he just shook his head at me and cried. I remember that feeling of devastation. But if he could just see that he is doing so incredibly well - that he's got such great rehab potential... as soon as I started to talk to his family, his mother started to cry, which of course started me crying. They had a ton of questions about Dad and how he's doing. It was as if they had been waiting for someone to open up to them. To give them some real human information. I gave them as much encouragement and as many tips as I could remember. Websites, books titles, and then his mom asked for my phone number so she could call if she needed someone to talk to. I told them their lives would be different but they would eventually be ok. A different ok than they ever expected, but ok. That he was going to get better. Not what they ever imagined for their son, but he would make them proud. I said goodbye to the patient and told him to work hard in rehab. He looked me straight in the eye and nodded. I hope his mom calls me becuase I would love to follow his progress through rehab. When I walked out of the room, I felt really good. My clinical partner, who had been in the room with me and encouraged me to talk to the family, told me that I couldn't have given them a better gift if I had given them a billion dollars. I really made a difference to someone. I was able to take some of the pain of the last 6 years and use it to help someone else. I guess that's what this is all about isn't it??
I cannot believe this summer is so close to over. I guess time flies when you're buried in books! I am enjoying the week off - doing a lot of catching up around the house, including catching up on sleep. Naps are a good thing!! Hopefully I will be all rested and ready to go once school starts for the fall next Monday. We made it past the accelerated portion of the BSN Express program (at least the first one). Classes will be on the normal university schedule until next May - which means I will have 4 classes this semester but they'll run over an entire semester instead of a few weeks. So far I have completed 2 1/2 years of nursing school in 2 1/2 months! I started at the end of May, and I am technically halfway through my junior year! Talk about moving fast! No wonder I'm so tired. I'll have a week off in October and three weeks at Christmas, a week in March for spring break and some time in April for Easter. Once we hit next May, we're back to the accelerated stuff, but then graduation is in August. By this time next year I will have graduated! I hope you all are having a great summer - keep in touch!
Thursday August 21, 2003
Ok so maybe I'm being a total bump on a log, but hey, after the summer I've had, I deserve it, right??? I start up classes again on Monday - I even went to the bookstore and got all ready for them. Now I'm sitting on the couch, enjoying a few movies and catching up on my fun reading. Ahh the life. But hey, look at all the work I've done on the website! Just goes to show that sitting on the couch watching movies can be VERY productive!
Monday August 25, 2003
Vacation is over! School started back officially today - and let me tell you it's really odd to see all these other students in the hallways!! We all got kindof spoiled being the only students in the building over the summer. I'm looking forward to the semester - getting back into clinicals, and the fact that the classes are spread out over an entire semester, not just a few weeks! I'm assigned to the same clinical institution, different instructor, floor and group though. Wednesday is orientation, then after Labor Day we start in for real. I'm glad to know that I have a realtively light class day on my birthday though - and no class on Friday! The plans are to have dinner with the family at Mom's on Thursday. Still figuring out logistics of celebrating with Dad. Speaking of Dad, he's doing really well. We had to get him a new stereo this week, and he got it out of the box and working without any help! He was so proud of himself, as was I! Who would have thought???
Thursday August 28, 2003 - Happy Birthday to me and Heather C.!
So much for an invigorating start back to school! I have a cold (thanks a bunch Rick) and am feeling overwhelmed so far. It'll get better, I hope. Our clinical instructor wants us downtown and ready to go at 6:45AM, so I'll be getting up bright and early twice a week. Thank goodness we have Fridays off!! This year I almost forgot about my birthday, I've been so busy! Going to have dinner at Mom's with Bob, Tasha and Rick, and will celebrate with Dad on Friday. Now that I've remembered it, I'm pretty excited! I'm officially in the last year of my twenties - a decade I will certainly not mourn the passing of! On to bigger and better things in life - if the way things have been headed is any indication, I can't wait!!
Friday August 29, 2003
I have the coolest friends and family a girl could ask for!! My birthday was great fro the beginning - I walked into class and they started singing 'Happy Birthday' and had doughnuts for me. I came home after class, relaxed a little and headed to Mom's for dinner with the family and Rick. Little did I know that Nikki was there too! Since we didn't make it to Maine this year, they did a whole lobster dinner for me. As if that wasn't special enough, I got up from the table, went inside (we ate on the deck) and there were Mackie & her husband and Michelle J.! Then in walked Dawn, Laurey and Robin! Then Lonni and Summer! They pulled one over on me!!!! I had no clue!!!! Rick's cousin made the cake with a picture of Balu on it, so I got to see a lot of my friends and eat cake - there's not much better than that. I am completely blown away by what everyone did for me - especially Nikki and Rick - the best best friend and boyfriend I could ever have, and my family - Mom, Bob and Tasha! Talk about making me feel loved...I drove home just smiling away. Tomorrow I get to celebrate again with Dad! It's good to be 29. :)
Saturday August 30, 2003
We have a new four-legged family member! Mom got her 8 week old kitten this morning. He is adorable! (Watch for pictures soon) His name is Rockwell - to go with Mom's other cat Norman (get it? Norman & Rockwell). He'll go by Rocky for short. He was part of an abandoned feral litter that has been human-raised since he was one week old, so he's really used to people and loves to be held. He's all black, has green eyes, and I'm betting he's going to be long-haired - although the baby fur could be fooling me. The Normonster is not sure what to do with the screaming little voice coming from behind the bathroom door (that's where Rocky's living to get used to the house and he's crying a lot when he's left alone), but hopefully they'll grow to be good pals.
Monday, September 1, 2003 - Happy Labor Day!
I celebrated Labor Day by sleeping most of the day! I think I finally got out of bed once and for all about 3:30!! (I had been up a few times with the dog). Rick, Preslee and I had dinner at Mom's and then I hung out with Nikki for a bit, before coming home. Now I gotta figure out how I'm going to get to sleep - I have school in the morning, and this week we start clinicals again - I have to be in the city on Wednesday by 6:45!! Sheesh. THAT will be fun. NOT.
Friday, September 5, 2003
I could get used to this schedule - except for the unGodly hour I have to be at clinicals, that is. Most days I'm home by 2 or 3, and I don't have class on Fridays! The classes are actually going at a normal pace!! Wow. I'm gonna get spoiled not having a semester crammed into 2 weeks. My goal for this semester: learn how to be a caring and effective nurse without letting the patients emotionally get to me. My patient this week had just been diagnose with terminal cancer and was VERY upset. All I could do was hold her hand and be as gentle and attentive as possible. I don't want to lose all empathy, becuase then I lose the whole meaning of being a nurse, but I gotta learn how to protect my own emotions or I'll never make it! Other than that, it's been a usual week - but I'm counting the days until Ireland!!
Monday, September 8, 2003
After a relatively restful weekend, I think I'm settling into a routine, which is good. I might actually get my butt back to the gym one of these days! It's only been, what, 4 months or so?!? I've been playing catchup around here - even gave the dog a bath this weekend - and had to wash him twice because the water that came off him the first time was so gross. He's now back to black and white, not black and cream. Got 6 new fish for the almost vacant fishtank and it finally looks half-alive again, although it could use even more! Finally finished a "fun reading"book, and I'm getting rid of a lot of the junk that's cluttering up my room and therefore my life. The donation people aren't going to know what to do with it all. I'm really using the NetFlix membership too - who needs HBO when you can get all the shows on DVD and watch them when you want? It's amazing how much stuff you neglect when you have a little time on your hands.
Thursday, September 11, 2003 - 2 Year Anniversary of 9/11/01
Today was a little creepy - the weather was almost identical to the weather of two years ago - it was a cool, clear, beautiful morning. I wasn't thinking too much about 9/11, but as I listened to the radio in the car I began to remember....I wasn't directly effected, and it was a tough day for me, so I can't imagine how it was for someone who was. One of my professors took a moment at the beginning to say a few words, and it meant a lot - he was somber and really appropriate, and ended up being very encouraging. Nikki and I went out for dinner to celebrate her upcoming 30th birthday (Monday!) at Yangming. We had some really good conversation - about life, about love....about the change in our lives. It's been quite a day!
Monday, September 14, 2003 - Happy 30th Birthday Nikki!!
Saturday evening Nikki and her father had a joint birthday party - it was great! About 30 people at a local restaurant - so it was great company and great food! Nikki looked like she had a great time. It was good to see her so happy and surrounded by so many people that love her. Yesterday was a great day too - Dad was honored for all of his contributions to Lower Merion Township over the past 20+ years at the annual Lower Merion Conservancy Gala. He received an engraved silver platter and a commendation from the PA state senate. It was a really nice afternoon - and the rain actually held off until the very end of the gala. Check out the pictures under the Miscellaneous 2003 link. Bob, Natasha, Rick and I all were there.
Thursday, September 18, 2003 - Happy Birthday Robin!!
We're all battening down the hatches here in Philly getting ready for the arrival of Isabel. She's only supposed to be a tropical storm when she finally gets here tomorrow, but everyone's all worked up - schools are canceling classes already, even my dentist cancelled my appointment for Friday morning! They're saying she's going to be one heck of a storm. This week has been status quo so far...and I'm completely beat. I took a nap this afternoon/evening and woke up feeling drugged. I'm headed to bed soon for good - and it's only 9:00. Sheesh. I'm old. This weekend's shaping up to be fun though...Flyers game on Friday night, out with Rick, Preslee and the Heatons on Saturday. Homework in there somewhere, and I haven't spent time with Nikki in a while - hopefully we can catch a movie or something on Sunday.
Thursday, September 21, 2003
So Isabel was pretty much a bust around here....a lot of wind and little stuff down, but not really much major damage. There are a few areas that still don't have power, but they were starting to come back up last night. I'm busy doing schoolwork - keeping Balu busy by hiding a hot dog inside one of his bones - he's been trying to get it out for an hour now!! :) Gives me a chance to not have to watch him (He ate a pair of expensive leather boots last week while I was taking a nap).
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
Ok so Isabel was a bust last week - but she was just covering for the TORNADO that came down my street about 7:30 yesterday morning!!! For those of you who know the area, it touched down in Havertown and traveled along Eagle Road/Wynnewood Road, all the way to Narberth. Both Narberth Park and South Ardmore Park have trees toppled in half. I woke up when something hit the roof and I ran to the window becuase I had never heard wind like that. I looked out and all I saw was what looked like streaks of clouds going by my window horizontally at what seemed like 300 miles an hour. I thought the dogwood in the front yard was going to come right out of its roots and I was convinced my car was a goner. It only lasted 15 seconds or so, then calmed down. A tree fell on a house on my street - and small trees, not limbs - came down everywhere. Trees feet in diameter were snapped in half. There was a ton of damage in Havertown - apparently gravestones in the St. Denis cemetery were tossed around! The local commuter train to Philly had a tree land on it. Streets were closed everywhere. No power, no cable = no tv, no internet. I couldn't find out too much about what what going on...but apparently it was a pretty confined area. My neighbor across the street drove his truck through a "wall of grey" and his truck got tossed around a little before he saw it move on out his rear view mirror. Luckily the only injury reported was a crossing guard that got hit in the face with a flying branch - he had a big band-aid on his nose and was giving interviews right away, so no major damage, except for the hedge he went flying through. Get this - he crossed the street from the corner in front of his house becuase it looked safer and a branch from a tree in his own yard flew diagonally across the street and got him. Ironic, huh? It looked like a disaster area around here - but two streets over - nothing. I've never seen anything like it in my life.
Thursday, September 25, 2003
Apparently the Ireland trip isn't happening..the company declared bankruptcy yesterday. We already have our tickets issued, so there's no refund there, and Mom and I are thinking of going anyway. For me I think it all depends on if we get our money back or not - I can't really afford to lose the money and shell out more for a 9 day trip. Ugh. Time will tell - supposedly we'll figure it all out in the next few days. I'm just glad this week is over.
Saturday, October 4, 2003
Papers and presentations and exams, oh my! I guess all vacations are suppposed to be preceeded by a week from hell, right? Wow. I have more than is humanly possible to get done between now and take-off for Ireland next Friday. We're still going - we have plane tickets, a hotel for the first night and a car reservation. So...Ireland here we come! Looks like we're gonna wing it!
Tuesday, October 7, 2003
Today was the last day of this rotation of clinicals. I've worked with kidney transplants, spinal fusions, gastrostomies (stomach removal), colostomies (colon removal), ilieostomies (intestinal removal), and today was an abdomical aortic aneurysm repair and a pneumonectomy (lung removal). Sheesh. We have next week off after evaulations on Wednesday and then we start our psych rotation....that is going to be interesting. As for Ireland, we're staying in a castle on the first night and then winging it from there...I'm starting to get excited about it!! Hopefully we'll get something back from the bankrupt tour company - they've sent out claim forms and hope to settle up in January. 20 cents on the dollar isn't much, but if I'm lucky it'll be something. Balu is gearing up for his vacation at Rick's house - he'll have the kids there to play with - a 2, a 3, and a 7 year old, as well as Rick. The cats will be loving having the house dog-free for a while, and Deborah will too. I bet she'll miss him though...I came down Sunday morning to find him curled up, asleep in her lap in the living room. I think she secretly likes him.
Friday, October 10, 2003
I'm off to the Emerald Isle!! This will be the last journal update until I get back, unless Rick decides to post some while I'm gone. I'll talk to you all when I get back and keep an eye out for tons of pictures!!
Sunday, October 19, 2003
I'm home! What a trip! I'm totally beat and trying to adjust to US time again - and to driving on the right (not left) side of the road again. The trip was fabulous and Ireland is beautiful. I will have a ton of pictures up soon - as well as a few that Rick took of Balu while he was there - my favorite is the one with him in the kiddie playpen. Apparently he was just as bad for Rick as he is for me.
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Ok I'm officially old. I fell down my basement steps yesterday. Who does that but old people?? Certainly not any 29 year olds I know. As my mom's best friend said, at least the huge bruise on my ass matches my two tattoos - it's purple.
Monday, October 27, 2003
Hi All! Halloween is fast approaching and I still don't know what I'm going to be. I'll be here with Dad on Friday night handing out candy (which I have yet to buy), but I think there's a party on Saturday night. Rick's going as SpongeBob SquarePants. He wants me to go as the squirrel in the diver's helmet, but I'm not so sure about that. We'll see. I'm finally getting caught up from being away for a week. I love vacations, but I always feel so behind when I get home!!
Thursday, November 6, 2003
I can't believe it's November already. Time flies when you have little of it!! Been up to my eyeballs with schoolwork - and I have two exams and three papers due in the next few weeks. I will be busy until the week of Thanksgiving, then life should slow up a little. I'm looking forward to this rotation being over. I am not really enjoying psych - I spent yesterday observing electroshock therapy.
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
Time flies when you have none, right? One exam down, one paper down, one exam and two papers to go in the next week or so. I am really looking forward to the Thanksgiving break. From there it's not long until the Christmas break which is almost three weeks long. Weeeeeeha! Check out the new pictures of Balu - I got the day off today when my clinical instructor called in sick this morning. Nothing like an unexpected chance to sleep in and veg out a little. Can't veg out too much - exam tomorrow, but I had a little free time to snap a few pictures of the monkey-dog.
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
The dog got snipped!! I'm really hoping it'll help calm him down. The vet assured me that if it doesn't, there are still things we can do - with the last step being "puppy prozac". Rick thinks a tranquilizer dart would be fun. Tomorrow is my last day on the psych ward and I am very excited...I'm not enjoying it at all. I can't believe that Thanksgiving is next week!!!
Thursday, November 20, 2003
Apparently the steps in my house weren't done with me after I fell down the basement steps last month...now I fell up the steps to the second floor, jamming my finger. I bend, I don't break. I guess that's a good thing - thanks Mom for making me drink all that milk growing up! So, now I'm walking around with a big splint on my left hand - I keep banging things with it. I took it off this evening to see how well the finger bends, and it hurts, so it's going back on for tomorrow. I think I need to move to the first floor of the house and just stay there. Balu came home from the vet - he apparently didn't sleep the whole time he was there. The surgery has not slowed him down one bit - he scares the crap out of me when he tries to run and jump - he's got stitches!! The lack of sleep combined with the pain medication they put him on have knocked him out for the night - he napped earlier and I actually couldn't wake him up at one point he was so out!!
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Happy Turkey to everyone - the holidays are upon us already. I am officially on break from school, even if I have projects to complete. I like not having to get up in the morning so early...Balu wakes me up, but I take him outside, half-asleep, and then go back to bed - he likes to curl up under the covers with me. I know I am very thankful for a lot of things this year - life is soooo different than a year ago! My family, my friends, my home, my pets, my health, my loved ones' health, the opportunities that have fallen into my lap including the opportunity to go to school full time and start a career that I love, and finding true love again with a wonderful guy and his daughter....my life has been truly blessed this year and I am very thankful. I hope you all have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving! Gobble Gobble!!
Monday, December 1, 2003
Congratulations to Rick on his first day at the new job! He's working as a programmer for ICTI in the northeast. It's been a good weekend - Haley was home for Thanksgiving and we all got to hang out, although meeting Rick fell through - next time! Balu got his stitches out today and Aphrodite is going in later this week for an ultrasound. She's lost a bunch of weight and we're not sure why, so they're getting a little worried (me too!!). She's 15 1/2 now - I hope she's around for a long time to come. Scary to think about her not being here - she's been there since I was 14!!
Friday, December 5, 2003
So my Aphrodite has Irritable Bowel Syndrome. They also caught the fact that she has Poly-cystic Kidney Disease. So - she's on steroids, and now I know how she's going to die - renal failure. We go back in 2 months for kidney bloodwork. They don't know how long she has - could be months, could be longer. I hope it's much much longer.
Saturday, December 6, 2003
Ok so I am officially a wimp. We've had a mouse problem in the house for a while now - they eat the cat food out of the bowls. Some cats I have right?? Letting mice eat out of their bowls. One of my early memories with Rick is an evening spent tearing apart the living room chasing a baby mouse that didn't want to be caught - and Rick scaring the crap out of me pretending a mouse was crawling up my back. We finally caught the thing and walked it over to the park and set it free. A few days later I found a dead baby mouse at the bottom of the steps - the cats had scared it to death. It looked perfectly fine except it looked like it had been licked to death. Before I realized it was a real dead mouse and not a cat toy, Balu grabbed it and I proceeded to chase him around the dining room table imagining pulling bloody mouse parts from his mouth. He was still pretty young and hadn't yet learned to let go of things (not like he knows that now either). I caught him and he eventually dropped it. Thus started my mouse history. I located where they have been coming into the house - under the cabinets in the back kitchen, but I've been told I am not allowed to take the cabinet bases apart to get to the hole becuase it'll ruin the cabinets which aren't even 2 years old. I've been mainly ignoring the problem until recently when I found mouse droppings in the drawer under the stove, in my baking sheets. That was it, after sterilizing everything in the drawer and the drawer itself, I decided something needed to be done. I had tried live traps and caught nothing. I refuse to get poison becuase of the dog and cats, so I got these traps that are supposed to kill humanely, blah blah. I don't like em, but I'm tired of mouse poop all over. Anyway, they've been out for a while and nothing. Tonight Deborah and I were watching tv and I heard a SNAP and a SCREEEEEECH and then banging coming from the kitchen. It took me a second to realize what was making the noise, but even then I thought it was the cats. I ran into the kitchen only to find a mouse (rather the rear end of a full grown, adult mouse) trying to run under the cabinets but getting stuck becuase the trap, snapped shut on its foot, was too big to fit. I freaked. My roommate wanted to catch it and throw it outside, but I thought that was unusually cruel in this weather. She grabbed me a wooden spoon and I used it to spring the trap open and the mouse ran away. My roommate was annoyed becuase she was going to beat it to death with the spoon, not set it free. I called my mom and got no sympathy for being upset. I called Rick and got called a chicken and got laughed at. I told him he's in charge of mice once he's here. I'm sorry. I just can't kill the damn things. To top it off, now I'm going to have nightmares of screaming mice. The thing screamed!!! I know I have to get rid of the mouse problem, but I can't handle dead mice. Actually I can handle them dead, just not dying. I'm a healer, not a killer. Ugh. My roommate re-set the trap and promised not to tell me the next time it happens, or if I'm there, to send me upstairs. The last thing I need is to be haunted by a mouse-ghost. I'm such a wimp, I know, but I could be something much worse I guess, so I'll take wimp!
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
Today marks six years since Dad's brain injury. Much like last year, I'm not sure how to handle it. Some people take horrible things that happen to them and turn them into empowering anniversaries...like celebrating his recovery on this date, so that it's not dwelling on the bad. I certainly don't need to dwell, but I can't quite bring myself to celebrate his recovery on this date - I'm still too mad. Six years later seems like a lifetime. It was a lifetime - I was a different person, and so much has happened since then. In some ways I think "six years?? That wasn't so long ago.." but it was. I can find a lot of positives - I am a totally different person than I was then - a change for the better, but at what cost?? I am so proud of how far Dad has come - he is truly a walking miracle, but that doesn't keep me from missing the Bob DeSilets that died six years ago today. He died, and the new Bob was born - and I don't love him any less than the old one, but I'm still pretty angry - it wasn't a fair trade.
